Tales from Condo Management – Episode II - The One with the washer fluid

I received this letter a few months back after we told someone they weren’t allowed to store household items in their underground parking stall. Some people can be such assholes. Funny… but still assholes.

To Whom it May Concern:

            Just wanted to write a quick note letting you know how pleased I am with your recent decision to disallow residents to leave a bottle of windshield wiper fluid at the back of their stalls. Yikes! How horrible. It really made the garage look messy and disheveled. After all, the blue color of the fluid did clash with the color of the dirt, rock and cigarette butts that usually sit on the floor.

            I am happy to know that I can now host a Sunday afternoon tea party in the private underground parking stalls of our building without the scorn from my friends and family for the unsightly appearance of a single bottle of wiper fluid. I mean really, why would I put wiper fluid on the FLOOR of a GARAGE, when I could just as easily place an opened bottle of toxic chemical in my own car with my children. Maybe I can place it in the middle of my dining room table? In a GARAGE??? Were we out of our minds?? Thank god you picked up on this.

            Yep, I think we should plan all of our neighborhood BBQ’s to take place in the dusty underground parking of our building. You know, to really show it off to the community. It is after all the highlight of our building.

            Gosh, could you imagine if other home owners actually placed necessities for their vehicle in their garage??? Insanity.

            Again, thank you. Just brilliant.

Sincerely,

A Home Owner