Thursday, February 28, 2013

...

There are going to be times in life where you feel really down on yourself. Where it seems like nothing is going right and you just aren’t happy.

We need these times.

I believe that if we don’t know how it feels to be down in the dumps and on the verge of depression, we can’t fully comprehend and appreciate the feeling of actually being happy and content.
Since the beginning of this year I have been feeling down. The little energy I have had was directed to the Get Fit Challenge I am organizing at work. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I lead a lunch time work out and I have to be that positive voice to keep everyone motivated. I am a good actor apparently because outside of the image I put on at work for everyone else… I didn’t feel so positive.
I was in a funk. I didn’t leave my house unless I had to. I didn’t hang out with any of my friends. My best friend pretty much had to beg me to go for coffee earlier this week. That’s not the normal me.
I lost sight of the light in my life. I felt like I had nothing really to look forward to when I know that’s clearly not the case. I hibernated in order to not face the rest of the world, even the people who love me the most.
I went to a yoga class yesterday for the first time in about 3 years. During the class… I cried. The instructor read a quote at the beginning of the class about being present in your life and making every action count like it would be your last act on this earth. I realized I haven’t been LIVING the last 2 months. I’ve just been. I breathed deeply, listened to the instructors’ voice, listened to my body breathing and felt energy surging through my veins. And then I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks. I felt more alive and present and valuable than I have in a long time. I walked out of the class feeling rejuvenated. Like someone re-lit my inner flame.
A new month starts tomorrow and I feel that it’s finally my start of 2013. Let’s go.

4 comments:

Born with a big mouth! said...

It's comforting to hear when the normal people go through hard times. I am really good at helping others look at the bright side, but when i am alone .... it's hard to do that myself. Thanks for sharing!

Angela Wiebe said...

I find I have my best cries at yoga. Hugs, and thanks for sharing

Lip Smacker said...

Aww hun, I'm sorry you've been in such a rut! It's true tho, if we always live on top, we lose perspective of how great it was to get there. Doesn't mean we need to be stuck in Debbie Downer mode but think of it as "waves of transformation" - don't let yourself get depressed because life isn't always wonderful, but ride out the wave, stay cozy in bed watching Jeopardy and give yourself a hug and say, tomorrow I will wake-up and feel the sun on my face. Waves start small and grow as they move forward - appreciate yourself for the little things you accomplish each day! Everyday is a good day to start fresh! Glad you had your awakening moment and got "re-lit"! *HUGS*

Lady Jewels Diva® said...

Every now and then life just seems to dump all its shit on us and we suffocate under the strain. We have no energy, no need, no wants to do anything or go anywhere. Our body's drained of all energy and strength and our brain calls time out for some breathing space and a holiday so it can recuperate and deal with shit.

We all get like that sometimes. Hell, social media does that to me.