My best friend is getting married this summer and the other day we were talking about how she wants to have kids soon, probably with in the next 2 years. She went on to tell me about her “life plan” and how she wants to have kids before she’s 30 and all that jazz. She then asked me “Do you ever think about that stuff? Do you have a plan like that?”
I laughed a bit and said “hell no…!!”
She was taken back a bit by that. “Really? You don’t have a plan? Don’t you want to get married and have kids?”
Nope. I don’t have a plan. And yes I do want to get married…one day, no time soon though. And I really don’t know yet if I want to have kids. And guess what, it’s not absurd to feel that way either. I’m 28 years old now, and I have never been in a relationship with someone who I felt I wanted to start a family with. I’ve been on my own for the last 7 years and its pretty awesome. I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. (I care about a lot of people; I mean that I’m not responsible for anyone but myself).
If you would have asked me 3 years ago what my plan was I would have said this…
“I want to date someone for at least a year before moving in together, and then live together for about a year before even thinking about engagement. Probably take a year to be engaged and plan a wedding. Then be together for about 2 to 3 years before having kids. I’m 25 now so if I want to have kids by the time I’m 30 then I would have to meet my future husband… *calculating*…. yesterday!”
Obviously THAT plan didn’t pan out…
I’m okay with that.
Life is an adventure. I will know when I’m ready to get married and maybe even have kids but that time isn’t now. And it won’t be mapped out in a life plan. It will just happen.
I laughed a bit and said “hell no…!!”
She was taken back a bit by that. “Really? You don’t have a plan? Don’t you want to get married and have kids?”
Nope. I don’t have a plan. And yes I do want to get married…one day, no time soon though. And I really don’t know yet if I want to have kids. And guess what, it’s not absurd to feel that way either. I’m 28 years old now, and I have never been in a relationship with someone who I felt I wanted to start a family with. I’ve been on my own for the last 7 years and its pretty awesome. I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. (I care about a lot of people; I mean that I’m not responsible for anyone but myself).
If you would have asked me 3 years ago what my plan was I would have said this…
“I want to date someone for at least a year before moving in together, and then live together for about a year before even thinking about engagement. Probably take a year to be engaged and plan a wedding. Then be together for about 2 to 3 years before having kids. I’m 25 now so if I want to have kids by the time I’m 30 then I would have to meet my future husband… *calculating*…. yesterday!”
Obviously THAT plan didn’t pan out…
I’m okay with that.
Life is an adventure. I will know when I’m ready to get married and maybe even have kids but that time isn’t now. And it won’t be mapped out in a life plan. It will just happen.
5 comments:
These things are coming true for me and I can still say I don't have and never have had a life plan. You are looking at it perfectly if you ask me, life is a roller coaster and changes every day. Why set yourself up for it not going perfectly according to plan. Take it day by day and have goals is my motto, I can always update and adapt which is what we are supposed to do to grow as people. Cheers to You!
Life is an adventure!! It's interesting looking back and seeing what we thought then where we would be now.
I've been married for 4 years and I don't have a plan like that. We're still pretty sure we aren't have kids, but we're open to the idea that things might change. Life changes, in fact, and I'm okay without having a plan for all that stuff.
I had a plan very much like that. I was on my way to following that plan, but then life threw me a curveball and I'm back to square one. Life changes, we all change and we have to accept that otherwise we will be miserable that we didn't follow our plan. Kind related- John lennon once said- Life is what happens when your busy making other plans.
Life is an adventure, but there's nothing wrong with having plans either. Many big things in life require planning, but if you don't want those kinds of things, then not planning is good for you.
I don't have a plan, but I do have a path I want to stay on - and I am much more productive having a direction in life. Life is a gift, and what you do with it is your gift back.
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