The time I watched all the movies Oscar Nominated for Best Picture and then gave my reviews on them. (Part 3)

Three more to go!

Philomena
Cast: Judi Dench, Steve Coogan
Brief Plot Description: A reporter helps a woman find her son she hasn't seen in almost 50 years.
My Thoughts: This was the other movie on the list that I surprisingly and thoroughly enjoyed. The story seemed so simple at first but there were details that came along the way that completely took you for a loop. Not only that, but the chemistry between the main characters was so charming and endearing you couldn't help but to adore both of them in their quirkiness. I laughed (a lot) and cried in this movie and when it was over I wanted to tell people all about it. This movie is wonderful and its one you should definitely watch. I don't think it will snag any of the awards tomorrow but it absolutely deserved to be nominated.

Nebraska
Cast: Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb
Brief Plot Description: An old man, who is slowly losing his mind, wants to go from Montana to Nebraska to claim the million dollar sweepstakes he has supposedly won. His son takes him.
My Thoughts: First of all... I DON'T GET WHY THIS MOVIE WAS IN BLACK AND WHITE??? Was it supposed to take away the colors so you see that characters more? Because it didn't work? Was it supposed to make it seem darker? Because it didn't? If anything I found that fact that it was in black and white really annoying. I kept watching scenes thinking that it would have had so much more detail and character that you could relate to if it was in color and it distracted me from the story a few times. Anyways... besides that I thought this movie was just okay. Will Forte played a type of character that we have never seen him in before. It was a little strange to see someone who is normally so funny and outgoing play someone very dry and muted. Bruce Dern and June Squibb weren't anything superb in my opinion. I didn't hate this movie but I wasn't overwhelmingly excited either. If this movie wins any of the awards tomorrow I will be quite surprised.

The Wolf of Wall Street
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
Brief Plot Description: A lot of drugs, sex and corruption while scamming the stock market in the 80's.
My Thoughts: Hands down... BEST MOVIE!! Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill were AMAZING in their roles. Leo absolutely played his best role (and that says a lot coming from me, a HUGE fan of him in Romeo & Juliet and Titanic), you can tell he put every ounce of his energy and creativity into playing this part. His charisma jumps right through the screen and grabs you from the beginning. Its almost three hours long but doesn't even seem like it because you are completely enthralled by this movie the entire time you watch it. This movie also supposedly had over 500 f-bombs in it, neither my boyfriend or I noticed them at all. We were so impressed with this movie that we are planning to go see it for a second time in the theatre. GO SEE THIS MOVIE! Just be prepared for watching a lot of (entertaining) drug use.

Final Recap
It was a lot of fun to watch all of these movies. These are my predictions for the big wins tomorrow:

Best Picture Nominees:
     American Hustle
     Captain Phillips
     Dallas Buyers Club
     Gravity
     Her
     Nebraska
     Philomena
     12 Years a Slave
     The Wolf of Wall Street

My Pick to Win:
     The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actor in a Leading Role:
     Christian Bale (American Hustle)
     Bruce Dern (Nebraska)
     Leonardo DiCarprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
     Chewitel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)
     Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

My Pick to Win:
     Leonardo DiCaprio (but if Matthew McConaughey wins I won't be mad)

Best Actress in a Leading Role:
     Amy Adams (American Hustle)
     Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
     Sandra Bullock (Gravity)
     Judi Dench (Philomena)
     Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)

My Pick to Win:
     This isn't really fair for me to vote on because I haven't seen Blue Jasmine or August: Osage County yet so if I had to pick it based on the movies i've seen I would say Judi Dench but chances are Meryl is gonna steal it because... hello... its Meryl!

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:
     Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)
     Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
     Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)
     Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)
     Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

My Pick to Win:
     This is a really tough one... I'm seriously torn between Jonah Hill and Jared Leto. Both are equally deserving of the award. Can we just give it to both of them? Just this once?

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:
     Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
     Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
     Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave)
     Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)
     June Squibb (Nebraska)

My Pick to Win:
     Again, I haven't seen Blue Jasmine or August: Osage County so I cant vote on those nominees but based on the movies I saw, I would give this one to Jennfer Lawrence, although I think that Lupita Nyong'o will win it because the media/hollywood is totally loving her right now.

There you have it! All my thoughts and opinions on the big movies at the Oscars tomorrow. Will you be watching too? Live tweet with me! (@whoismich) Let me know your thoughts! Either on the movies, the dresses or what I've had to say.

The time I watched all the movies Oscar Nominated for Best Picture and then gave my reviews on them. (Part 2)

Let's continue, shall we?

American Hustle 
Cast: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner
Brief Plot Description: This group eventually comes together to con people and steal their money.
My Thoughts: What... a... disappointment. Maybe I expected too much from this movie because of the cast (I mean, hello... Jennifer Lawrence is totally my girl crush right now! And Bradley Cooper, he stole my heart in Silver Linings Playbook last year) but this just didn't work. There were good elements of this movie like the fashion (holy plunging necklines batman) and Jennifer Lawrence (she can do no wrong) and the scene with Christian Bale's combover, but the rest was lacking. I was actually so bored in this movie that I wasn't even paying attention anymore and instead played Candy Crush on my phone. For a movie that has SUCH a great cast... it should have kept me pulled in more than it did. Its not the WORST on the list but its absolutely in the bottom few.

Her
Cast: Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Scarlett Johansson
Brief Plot Description: A lame ass loser falls in love with his phones operating system.
My Thoughts: When I saw previews for this movie I thought it was the most ridiculous and stupid concept I had ever heard. I tried to have an open mind when I watched it, and I hoped I would connect with the story and understand his infatuation but my prediction was dead on. This WAS the most ridiculous and stupid concept ever. I couldn't comprehend the fact that this guy was seriously having a relationship with his Siri. I had to turn it off. I got about 45 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore. Absolutely the WORST on the list. I don't know why its nominated for any awards at all. Don't even bother.

Dallas Buyers Club
Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner
Brief Plot Description: In the 80's, a man is diagnosed with AIDS and eventually finds ways of bringing unapproved medications (that actually help) to fellow patients.
My Thoughts: This was the first of two AWESOME surprises this year. I didn't know what this movie was about going into it and boy was I pleasantly surprised. Matthew McConaughey was fan-tas-tic. He took this role and put every bit of his energy into it. And then there was Jared Leto who, when you were watching him, you completely saw a different person than the face we all know in hollywood. I laughed in this movie, I cried, I felt angry and upset and happy and all of the emotions that they want you to feel. These two were superb and 100% deserve all nominations as well as the nomination for Best Picture. I don't think it will win the actual award for Best Picture but if it does win, I wont be disappointed at all. Go watch this movie and thank me later.

Reviews coming up in the next (and last) post on this topic:
Wolf of Wall Street
Philomena
Nebraska
(and a recap of who I believe should win)

The time I watched all the movies Oscar Nominated for Best Picture and then gave my reviews on them. (Part 1)

I love watching the Oscars. All of the wonderfully talented actors and actresses. All of the best. In one room. Dressed to the nines. Its magical.

On my 30 Before 30 list I had a goal to watch all movies that have won for Best Picture.
All of them... ever!
Let me tell you... that's a lot of movies! It was at 84 when I started. I didn't get through the entire list (yet) but I did make a big dent in it. Completing this list has allowed me to be able watch some awesome movies. Some classics that I had heard were great but I hadn't seen them before (Gone with the Wind, Rain Man, Kramer vs. Kramer), and then there were movies that were surprisingly good that I didn't expect much from (The Apartment, Out of Africa, The Life of Emile Zola) and of course... there were movies that I just DIDNT like (Braveheart, West Side Story, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest).

This entire process has sparked a passion for GREAT movies. Last year I tried to watch all of the nominees for Best Picture. I saw almost all of them. When I watched the Oscars I felt like i knew more about what was going on. I felt passionate about the nominees. The actors, the directors, the scripts, all of it. So this year... I decided to do the same!

There are A LOT of movies nominated for best picture this year. Nine in total. I think thats the most ever.

So without further adieu, I present to you my reviews on the nominees! (Part 1)

Gravity
Cast: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney
Brief Plot Description: Sandra Bullock gets lost in space.
My thoughts: I was quite apprehensive to watch this movie. Not because I didn't think it would be any good but because the thought of being lost in space gives me anxiety. We've all seen the previews... of Sandra flying away, rolling and rolling, with nothing to stop her. No. Thank. You.
This movie was pretty good though. The images of earth were stunning. The effects didn't make me dizzy like I had expected (I usually get dizzy/nauseous during 3D or major action movies, too much movement and action to focus on anything). And the story, although very basic (...she gets lost in space) had great characters that you really connected with and were rooting for the entire time. I enjoyed the film but I don't necessarily think its belongs on the Best Picture Nominee list. A movie on this list should be epic and amazing in SOME way. And although I enjoyed it, I wasn't amazed at all.

12 Years a Slave 
Cast: Chiwitel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong'o, Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt
Brief Plot Description: A free black man is abducted and sold into slavery.
My thoughts: Movies like this are always so emotionally hard to watch. One of my favorite movies is The Color Purple. In movies like that one you really get to know the characters and connect with the suffering that they are put in. I felt like that part was missing from this movie. The "abduction" happened very quickly at the beginning of the movie and you didn't really get to know the main character much before. Don't get me wrong... the dude was sold into slavery... I felt for him, but if we would have known more of his wife/job/kids/friends/ and life in general before he was sold I think we would have felt more for him even more. That being said, what happened to him after he was sold and the characters he met along the way made for quite a story, even if Brad Pitt was only in it for like 35 seconds...
This movie was good. It wasn't amazing. It wasn't horrible. Its was a bit better than mediocre.

Captain Phillips
Cast: Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi
Brief Plot Descrition: A cargo ship (captained by Tom Hanks) is hijacked in Somalian waters.
My Thoughts: This was one of the first Oscar movies I watched this year and compared to the other movies I had seen so far (Gravity & 12 Years a Slave) it was definitely in the running to be my favorite. This movie had me in suspense pretty much the entire time. The fact that the cargo crew spoke only English and the pirates spoke only in Somalian added to the frightfulness of the situation. I really think this was one of Tom Hanks' best roles but when its compared to the other actors nominated, I don't think he stands a chance.
This was a great movie. I would definitely recommend for anyone to watch it. I don't think it will win for best picture but it wont disappoint for the entertainment factor.

Reviews coming up in the next post:
American Hustle
Her
Dallas Buyers Club

Words.

A few days ago I was lying in bed and couldn't fall asleep. Words were spinning and twisting around in in my head and wouldn't let my mind rest until I wrote them down. So i just wrote...  

In Darkness 

Once, I was afraid of the dark. 
It seemed to me only those who were weak entered there. 
Only those who had no choice. 
No power. 

But the darkness, I've learned,
... is quiet. 
Its calm. Oh, so very calm. 
Well... besides the guilt... 
and regret... 
and constant voices... 
other than that, its remarkably calm. 

There are no flaws in the dark. 
... I guess technically they are still there, 
But in the dark, no one else can see them 
And that makes it seem like they don't even exist anymore. 

The darkness is peaceful. 
There is no one around to tell you what to do, 
Or what not to do... 
No one else around...
No one... 
Alone... 
Quiet. 

I guess the dark isn't so scary. 
Its actually quite comforting. 
Like an invisible down comforter surrounding you. 
A cozy blanket thats slowly suffocating you. 
Bit by bit... 
Cutting off your air. 

You don't really notice it at first, 
Because its just so warm. 
But that first time you take a deep breath...
Thats when you realize. 
There's not much air left. 

Its hard to say, 
How long one can survive, 
Under the suffocating blanket. 
An hour? 
A week? 
A year? 
Its too hard to determine. 

But its just so cozy, here in the dark. 
So lets just give it a while longer... 

Alberta Floods 2013 - My beautiful Calgary... under water.

If you haven't heard, our province was hit with devastating floods the past few days. I have lived in Calgary my entire life (almost 30 years) and have never seen anything of this magnitude before. The boyfriend and I are lucky enough to live way up high on a hill and a bit away from the river so we were not effected. 

The city of High River on Thursday afternoon. Via Twitter.

I did however have to go and rescue my sister on Thursday night who lives in an area close to the river and doesn't have a vehicle. I left my home immediately when they announced the evacuation of her area and was there within ten minutes. If I would have left even five minutes later I would have been driving though water to get her. It was creeping up just a few feet from my car and starting to flood homes as I was driving by. As we turned the corner around her house and passed over the bridge by Bowness Park... it was devastating to see an area that should be an ice rink in the winter and then park and picnic areas which are normally spread out and far from the river now completely submerged. Water so high that it was half way up the trees in the highest elevation areas. 

Old Man dam being opened on Thursday night. via Twitter. 

These photos below were taken very close to my home. This is normally the area I walk through to get home after work. Those trees should not be under water...

This video (found via twitter) was taken in this exact area.

Water flooding all areas near the river. 

Calgary is supposed to have the Stampede (the biggest outdoor show on earth) in less than two weeks. TWO WEEKS! But this is what the Stampede grounds look like right now.

It would be a complete miracle to pull it off this year. But crews (and all citizens) are determined. It may not be the Stampede we normally see but it will happen and I will be there full of pride.

These are photos I have taken myself (unless noted differently) and they don't even show the beginning of the damage and devastation all across the province. Thousands of people have completely lost their homes, many washed away in the river.

This truly has been devastating and as far as we know there have been three fatalities in the extremely hard hit areas outside of Calgary. The damage will be insurmountable when the water finally all recedes.

Although this has been completely unbelievable to live through, I have honestly never been more proud to be an Albertan. Approximately 75,000 people were evacuated from their homes and only about 1500 had to go to the evacuation center's. Everyone else was taken in by friends, family and some even by strangers who are in safe areas. That is remarkable.

The entire province (and actually all across the country) have extended a helping hand and are willing to help out anyway they can.

Food trucks offered their services and took post at the evacuation center's. Restaurants have opened their doors (and menu's) for anyone who had to leave their home.

Anyone and everyone has lent a helping hand and this is just the beginning. The clean up will be a long and daunting process and we will all be there for each other as a community.

The biggest thank you's have to go out to our Mayor Nahid Nenshi and the entire city counsel as well as all City of Calgary crews, Calgary Police, all fire crews, all military crews (including my boyfriend's brother) and all media for keeping the entire city well informed and most importantly, safe and dry. Your efforts and hard work is truly amazing and does not go unnoticed. We as a community cannot thank you enough.

My thoughts go out to everyone effected by the flooding.

30 Before 30 List - the (almost) halfway point update

I am about halfway through the year I gave myself to accomplish everything on my 30 Before 30 list and I think I'm doing pretty good so far! 

30 Before 30

1 – Host a dinner party for 6 people. - Not crossed off yet but I plan on having an outdoor dinner later in the summer :) 

2 – Lose at least 30 lbs - Working on it... 

3 – Lay on a beach in the sun while drinking margaritas 

4 – Blog 30 days in a row

5 – Sing karaoke - CHECK! Sang Shania with the bride at a wedding last weekend. It was quite the show. LOL 

6 - Have $_____ in savings (I know the number but I don't think I need to put it onto my blog) - About half way to the goal. Right on track. 

7 - Celebrate my 30^th b-day in style! - Can't be checked off until the end of the year obvs. 

8 – Write a good chunk of my book - This is a work in progress. And it has been on my mind a lot lately. I need to take a few days to myself and type out what is all in my head. 

9 – Host a theme party - I have plans... oh do I have plans! But for later in the year. 

10 – Have a completely Sober October

11 – Do something that is completely selfless - Not quite sure if I am counting this as my "selfless act" but I just gave away about half of my wardrobe. FIVE suitcases worth. 

12 – Do something that scares me - CHECK! Done a few so far this year: Went into this CREEPY (at first) cave at Ainsworth Hot Springs, still need to blog about that trip! And I also pet a manta-ray in Vegas! 

13 – Send 5 people cards for no reason in particular except to make their day.

14 – Forgive my sister…

15 – Wear red lipstick (not on Halloween)

16 – Write a poem that I’m proud of

17 – Fly a kite

18 – Play hooky from work and get day drunk

19 – Watch every movie that has won an Academy Award for Best Picture (already started this one! If you want a copy of the list let me know) - This is a work in progress, I've watched 27 out of 85 so far. 

20 – Create a funny youtube video. - CHECK! There are actually 3 or 4 different videos technically. BiSC was truly amazing. 

21 – Try 10 foods I’ve never had before. - CHECK! - dried mango, gnocchi, Shamrock Shake, spaghetti squash, buffalo, fennel, crawfish, ever-clear, biscuits and gravy, snapper. 

22 – Sign up for a fitness class and attend all classes. No excuses. - CHECK! - Zumba, two rounds. Boom! 

23 – Cook a new recipe every month. One that I’ve never tried before. - Right on track! January was a buffalo chicken meatloaf. February was roasted butternut squash soup. March was scalloped corn. April was roasted spaghetti squash and then May was a spicy turkey spaghetti sauce on spaghetti squash. Can you tell I really like spaghetti squash now? 

24 – Go on a vacation, somewhere hot. - CHECK! ... VEGAS!!!! 

25 – Put a tag/sticker on ALL articles of my clothes and shoes. If I don’t wear it by the end of the year, get rid of it. - I didn't put stickers/tags on but I went through EVERYTHING a few weeks ago when I was getting rid of a lot of clothes so I know what I have worn this year and what I haven't yet. 

26 – Try to only wax my legs for the whole year, no shaving. - Totally been doing this all year and it's been awesome so far. I may even stick with this forever? 

27 – Buy coffee for the person behind me in line at Tim Horton’s. - CHECK!

28 – Teach someone something new. - CHECK! Taught a few people how to gamble in Vegas! 

29 – Figure out the “art” of liquid eye liner. - CHECK! 

30 – Drink tea everyday. - Been pretty much on track with this too! 

Bloggers in Sin City Recap - The Final Episode

Life Lessons Learned in Las Vegas: 

The Las Vegas airport has two completely separate terminals. Which means folks you know arriving at the same time may not be at the same baggage claim as you. This was news to me even though I had been to Vegas four times perviously. 

Don’t drink the ever-clear. It will only lead to bad things. Especially when you choose to drink it in copious amounts.  

Chicken and waffles are a thing… a very BIG and delicious thing.

Tiff is the most amazing person at dividing bills for large parties. All servers should bow down to her. It wouldn't surprise me if they end up tipping her one day. 

Don't take the free sample of the “energy gum”. It tastes like pennies and won’t give you extra energy. Lies I tell you.  

Sharks... because Vegas! 

Watch out for hidden glass floors because SHARKS and Vegas!

When you hug someone for 8 seconds, you bond. It’s been proven. And when you hug someone for 45 seconds or longer you instantly become life long friends.

Food courts are the best place for bonding at 3:00 am. The best. 

Everyone has a story and you would be surprised at how similar others are to yours. We are never alone.

The "O" Cirque du Soleil show is the best of the cirque shows. 

 If you’re not tired at 2:00am… GET UP! It’s Vegas! Sleeping is for being at home.

Silicon and Silicone are two very different things. And silicone breast implants have nothing to do with "Silicon Valley".  The more you know. 

Solar panel breast implants need to become a thing. You know… so we can charge our phones in our cleavage.

 Nico apparently knows Vegas very well… you know… because he is Phillipino…?

 It IS actually possible to krump in a pool. And when you are Casey, it still looks as bad-ass as when you do it on dry land. 

 According to the conversations we had about this topic (multiple times), Canadians apparently say “mmm hmm” differently that Americans. Canadians say mm-hmmmmmmm…. And drag out the hmmm in a calming agreement. Yet Americans add a question mark at the end. “mmm hmmmm? As in ‘Do I agree with you?’”. 

 Biscuits and Sausage gravy at breakfast. This invention is delicious. Who knew? Yet this must remain in the U.S. or I would just eat them at all the breakfasts!

The party is wherever you want it to be. Even in an H&M fitting room.

All the feelings come out when folks wear wigs to brunch.

Don’t even bother packing heels. You are wasting precious suitcase space.

True friends can be found anywhere in the world You just have to open your heart and mind and not be afraid to take a chance.

Biscuits equals family. 

All it takes is a seed… and a little love.

A few months ago I spearheaded a Get Fit Challenge at my office. My goal was to get people moving and more aware of the healthier choices they can make on a day to day basis. I really didn’t know at the time what would become of it but I was determined to try.

In January I got the challenge going and “planted the seed”. With a bit of motivation and support that still seems to be growing every week, that little seed has become a full grown tree!!

Our group has grown in numbers and what started out as three or four people working out together has turned into a big group that does workouts together three times a week. Because we have all worked so hard the last few months most of us are able to go jogging now on our lunch hours. Something a lot of us couldn’t do three months ago. We also have a Zumba instructor that comes to teach a class once a week (who I found through Twitter… the internet is amazing!).

The official challenge was for three months and was based on percentage of weight loss. The lady who won lost over 26 pounds!! She came to me after and said “If it wasn’t for your motivation this whole time I wouldn’t have been able to stick with this”.

The other day in Zumba I had a beautiful moment. I looked around the room during one song and saw 15 women dancing, laughing, sweating and being active. I got chills. None of this would have happened if I didn’t plant the seed at the beginning of the year.

Motivation is something that spreads when you give it to others. Happiness is something that spreads even quicker. This challenge is a reminder to me that when you put effort into something, it can grow and become the most wonderful, rewarding thing.

The challenge wasn’t just about weight loss for me. It was about feeling better, getting healthier and building a better team atmosphere in my office. Check, check and CHECK!

THIS!! ....... All of This!

You guys!!!

There's something I totally forgot to tell you!
(unless you follow me on Twitter. Because on Twitter it's been my main topic of conversation for the last couple of months... I'm kind of excited...)

I'm going to Vegas!!
In about a month.

To be more specific... I'm going to Bloggers in Sin City!!!!!

You may remember that I went to this same "Un-Conference" back in 2011. (Read that recap here)
Unfortunately due to finances I couldn't go last year BUT all the stars and blogging gods aligned for me and I was able to register for this year!! Thank goodness too because sadly this will be the final year.

Needless to say, the next 36 days better go by quickly. Tackle hugs for old and new friends await!

Negative Nancy's

A while back I was having a conversation with someone about pregnancy. And age.

This person is a few years younger than me (I will be 30 this year) and apparently has very different views on pregnancy than me. At the time of this conversation she had been married for about a year and trying to have a baby... totally normal right? Except that she was trying everything in her power to get pregnant AS SOON AS POSSIBLE like the world was going to end or like her window for having a baby was ending in 6 months. I was trying to be a supportive friend and saying things to her like "don't worry, it will happen when its meant to happen" (because thats how I truly feel life works) and she was talking about surrogacy and adoption. After only a year or so of trying. At age 25. Like seriously...

Anyways... to each their own.

She proceeded to tell me about how much the rate of a successful pregnancy drops after the age of 35. I responded with "well... I'm almost 30 and not married nor planning to have kids anytime soon. So changes are I will be close to 35, if not over, by the time I have a baby. I don't really think there is anything wrong with that... I understand if we were talking about someone who is in their late 40's or almost 50, but so many women are having babies later these days and I am totally on board with that. Especially since I will probably be one of them".

Long story short... she went on to tell me that its "cruel to get pregnant after the age of 35". And that "age is a degenerative disease." She asked "would you want to get pregnant knowing you have a degenerative disease like cancer or something and would probably die when your child was still young?".

Ouch.

I politely ended the conversation because I was truly in shock at the time and didn't know what to say with out ending a friendship. But its been a few months now and my response is finally something I can put into words, even if its only on my blog and not to her face.

First of all... every single one if us gets older every second of the day. So there's no getting out of that "degenerative disease". Suck it up princess.

Second... if you are so scared about being old and dying too young... you are going to suck at that whole parenting thing. That shit is way scarier than getting old and you are going to worry every damn day about dying. Or your kids getting hurt. Or even dying. And every other type of thing parents worry about. Thats called life. Deal with it.

Third... who do you think you are to tell me I would be "cruel" to have a baby after 35? How do you know what kind of mom I would be? I know for damn sure that if I was to have a baby now (or even where I was at in my life 5 years ago... yikes!) I wouldn't be ready. Not mentally, emotionally or financially. I know most people "will never be ready" but I am like really no where near ready. Im just starting to get my shit together and no baby should have to suffer through my life organization phase. Thats like inviting people over for a party when you are cleaning and prepping the day before. Ain't nobody else need to see that.

If she is ready to have a baby at a younger age than me (or thinks she is ready...) than all the power to her. But don't ever tell me that I'm a cruel person to wait until I know that I am ready.

End rant...

Blogging about blogging

When I first started my blog years ago it was completely anonymous. I didn't post any photos of myself and if I blogged about anyone I knew they had a nickname. No one that I knew, knew about my blog. It was like a secret diary on the internet that I only shared with strangers.

Over time I slowly started telling people I trusted the most about my blog but I begged them to keep it a secret too. I was still trying to find my blogging voice and I was writing about things that I didn't necessarily want to share with a lot of people.

I was also going through a lot of growing up and life changing moments and my blog was my place to let out all of my emotions.

Now my blog is what I call semi-anonymous. I still only tell some people about it. I don't promote it on facebook. I have photos of myself and people who approve of being posted about.

But I'm on the fence about crossing that line... I have pondered lately about taking the leap and putting it all out there.

I am still so undecided about it because sometimes blogging can be the BEST therapy and I don't want to censor what I say incase people I know may read it and be offended or insulted or know too much about me.

How do we know when it's okay to take that step??

...

There are going to be times in life where you feel really down on yourself. Where it seems like nothing is going right and you just aren’t happy.

We need these times.

I believe that if we don’t know how it feels to be down in the dumps and on the verge of depression, we can’t fully comprehend and appreciate the feeling of actually being happy and content.

Since the beginning of this year I have been feeling down. The little energy I have had was directed to the Get Fit Challenge I am organizing at work. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I lead a lunch time work out and I have to be that positive voice to keep everyone motivated. I am a good actor apparently because outside of the image I put on at work for everyone else… I didn’t feel so positive.

I was in a funk. I didn’t leave my house unless I had to. I didn’t hang out with any of my friends. My best friend pretty much had to beg me to go for coffee earlier this week. That’s not the normal me.

I lost sight of the light in my life. I felt like I had nothing really to look forward to when I know that’s clearly not the case. I hibernated in order to not face the rest of the world, even the people who love me the most.

I went to a yoga class yesterday for the first time in about 3 years. During the class… I cried. The instructor read a quote at the beginning of the class about being present in your life and making every action count like it would be your last act on this earth. I realized I haven’t been LIVING the last 2 months. I’ve just been. I breathed deeply, listened to the instructors’ voice, listened to my body breathing and felt energy surging through my veins. And then I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks. I felt more alive and present and valuable than I have in a long time. I walked out of the class feeling rejuvenated. Like someone re-lit my inner flame.

A new month starts tomorrow and I feel that it’s finally my start of 2013. Let’s go.

Let's be honest...

Lately I've been feeling so angry.
I wake up angry. I face the day angry. I go to bed angry.

And I don't even know why.

I take it out on... everyone. Even people who don't deserve it.

I can't pinpoint why I'm unhappy. Or when I started feeling this way. Or when I acknowledged it.
Which means that right now... I don't know how to fix it.


....


On my wall in my living room is a painting I made a few years ago with a quote from Romeo and Juliet:

"Seek happy nights through happy days".

Maybe I should start paying attention to the things I write and put in front of my own face... I must have put them there for a reason...

Bored.

So many times over the last few weeks I've said to myself "I am going to blog today.".
I open the beautiful blank canvas that is a new post.
And nothing.
No words come to me.
No thoughts.
No creativity.

My life has been very boring lately.

Wake up.
Go to work.
Eat fruits and veggies.
Work out.
Make Dinner.
Watch Jeopardy.
Sleep.
Repeat.

Boring.

And then last week I injured my back. Which means I have barely left the couch/bed for the last 4 days.

I'm in a rut and I need something to pull me out of it.

26 candles...

 Today would have been my sister's 26th Birthday...

... I hope there are cupcakes and balloons in heaven today.

Careful not to trip over your imaginary veil…

Weddings.

One would think that from how many times I have blogged about my friend’s weddings recently, I would have my future wedding already planned out from where and when I would get married, what I would wear, what we would eat, etc. etc., just insert groom here.

That is not the case.

I have maybe 3 or 4 sentimental things that I know I want in my wedding or incorporated on my wedding day but that’s it.

I feel like planning a wedding out before you are engaged is bad luck. In fact I avoid all things wedding on Pinterest for this exact reason.

Just because at 14 years old we thought we wanted to get married in a huge princess dress with fairy sparkles and N’Sync playing as we walked down the aisle… it doesn’t mean that’s what we are going to want as an adult.

Weddings are about two people celebrating the commitment of their futures together. 
Two people.
Two different personalities.
Two different styles.
Two lives… becoming one.

A wedding should reflect and embrace that combination. It should reflect who the two of you are together. The lives you live. The things that are important to each of you, individually and together. And most importantly why you love each other.

I can definitely tell you that a princess dress and fairy sparkles are NOT why I love my boyfriend. And if he one day becomes my husband… there absolutely wont be any fairy sparkles… they would just get caught in his beard.

Weddings are a special, wonderful, magical time. And I believe that, when the time is right, we should embrace the chance we get to plan the day to celebrate marrying the person you love more than anyone else in the world.

Love is different for each couple. Love is one of the most amazing emotions we get to experience as people and no one can define your love for someone else but you. A wedding is the time to express that and share that feeling with your friends and family.

It’s not about the cake or how tall it is. It’s not about how much you spent on the wedding or how big your white dress was or that you had it at the most lavish vineyard you have ever heard of. It’s about being so lucky in life that you found someone who is your other half and you can’t imagine living the rest of your life without them. So much so that you want to read aloud your vows… in front of everyone you know… that you are two souls now joined as one.

You can’t plan that day before you truly feel that way. 

Maybe my theory is wrong. And maybe its why at almost 30 years old, I’m not married or engaged. But you know what… I’m okay with that. It will happen for me when it’s the right time. And it will be great.

How NOT to bleach a beard.

In December, the boyfriend and I went to an "End of the World" party.

The boyfriend drank a bit too much. Conversations arose about his beard and how big it had gotten. Somehow he was convinced that if it was white he would look like Santa. It was just before Christmas and since it was the "end of the world" and he was way too many drinks in, he thought it would be a good idea too. Oh boy...  

So he bleached it...

And for a while he looked like a wizard... 

But it wasn't going white enough so he wanted us to add heat to boost it...

 After 2 hours... this is what he ended up with.

Yes, that is an orange/yellow beard instead of white. And yes, thats still dark brown hair on top. I told him it wouldn't work but he didn't listen to me. Plus I wanted him to get rid of it so i figured if he bleached it and hated it he would just shave it off in the morning. Boy was I wrong...

He woke up the next morning and said "It's not Santa... but I kinda like it... I look like Hulk Hogan... I think I should keep it". Oh god...

We had other holiday parties to go to that weekend and he LOVED his beard and wanted to show it off so I made a deal with him that he could keep the ugly orange-beard as long as it was either gone or died back by Christmas Eve dinner with my family. He died it. Actually... I died it. So weird.

I thought I hated the beard before but after seeing orange-beard... I will take brown-beard any day.